


this must be my dream

by bleuboxes



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Ish?? - Freeform, SO, also bi/pan lara jean is super super implied, and they were ROOMMATES, bc im a straight up WHORE for roommate aus., but thats how it be sometimes, i adore this movie and, i love the book sm, lara jean is like so Blind, obv i had to write something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 09:06:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15770973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bleuboxes/pseuds/bleuboxes
Summary: Peter is out. All the time. Probably with Genevieve. Which is fine.Lara Jean doesn’t care, so she doesn’t ask.When Peter is around, life is normal. He tries to make Ramen. They watch movies together on Thursday nights and create their own commentary during the film. Peter plays his dumb music extra loud, and Lara Jean plays her music extra loud right back.They talk nonsense, and Lara Jean swears that Peter’s being even more flirtatious than ever.Neither of them bring up Genevieve.





	this must be my dream

**Author's Note:**

> special thanks to my darling friend matt (theshippingprince) for motivating me and my other friend sheepy (who will hopefully never see this rip) for telling me that "doing what you're passionate about (writing) builds character" which gave me the final push to finish this thing.
> 
> im not like super happy with it but?? i want to upload something before i leave for college (which is in like 8 days so Thats COol!!!!)
> 
> anyway pls pardon the mistakes that i probably missed. im tired and pissed off bc its done nothing but rain and its super fucking hot in my house. 
> 
> title is from the 1975's song this must be my dream bc im Super Creative.

Chris moves out. Not because she hates Lara Jean now or anything – but because she’s got some sort of opportunity to find herself somewhere deep within the underground EDM scene or something like that.

She explained it all to Lara Jean in a very loud, vivacious manner, and Lara Jean maybe only understood about half of all that she was saying.

But, now Chris is off doing whatever it is she does, and Lara Jean is left all alone in her flat –

Again, this is _not_ inherently bad, it’s just, Lara Jean can’t afford rent on her own, and she refuses to move somewhere else; this is a nice flat in a nice area. 

So, an ad goes up. It’s a very New Girl-esque situation, but the guy who seems interested in the place is nice enough, and she gives him the go-ahead to come check the place out.  She texts her sister, Margot, about the situation, and it’s a mutual agreement that Margot’s going to come visit the same day as the guy is – just in case he’s, like, a psycho axe murderer or something.

Margot also tells her that it was very stupid of her to put an ad on craigslist for a roommate; Lara Jean only acts like she disagrees with her sister –  in all reality, she’s been freaking out about the whole _Live With A Complete Stranger That You Met On The Internet_ thing; It isn’t like a random dorm assignment in college, because she has to trust her own judgement, not an algorithm. It isn’t going to be like living with Chris – someone she’s known since, _forever_ ; and it isn’t going to be like living with anyone she’s ever lived with before because he’s a _boy._

 _God,_ what if she goes and falls in love with him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Good news: more than likely potential roommate is not a stranger. He’s Peter Kavinsky. From high school. And middle school. He’s definitely not an axe murderer.

Bad News: He’s also fresh out of an on-again off-again relationship with his longtime girlfriend (and the only girl Lara Jean’s ever really loathed), and Lara Jean’s probably going to have to listen to him whine about Genevieve. Also, he’s, like, _a lot_ prettier than she remembered him being – granted the last time she saw him was like five years ago.

Regardless, she’s not about to be too picky; he has a steady job and really likes the space (and is more than willing to pay his share of the rent).

Lara Jean has a new roomie.

She’s very sure this is going to come and bite her in the ass.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

After a few months of living with Peter, Lara Jean has some thoughts.

First of which being Peter is a lot different than she remembered him being. He’s less of a boy now – he’s matured both physically and mentally.

Peter has always been a bit of a shit. He’s still snarky and sarcastic and a bit of an ass at times, but he’s considerate, and kind, and a little bit bashful. He’s still got this boyish charm about him, to which Lara Jean usually ends up rolling her eyes about, but she secretly finds it endearing. He's got an untamed flirtatious side of him that she's sure is going to screw her later on, but it's fine for right now.

He’s also very, very hung up on Gen.

Lara Jean has never been particularly fond of Genevieve, but Peter is Lara Jean’s friend (and she also can’t really take his whining anymore); she decides that it’s her duty, _as a friend_ , to help Peter out. So, she puts all her relationship knowledge to good use (thank you, romance novels) and divvies up her best advice.

 

 

* * *

 

 

As it turns out, her advice was not all for naught; Peter and Gen are back together.

Which is great for Peter, but not so much for Lara Jean.

Lara Jean is willing to let go of silly childish grudges. She’s twenty-four, not fourteen. She barely thinks about high-school, or silly childish drama that happened, like, a decade ago.

Genevieve, as it turns out, is not as willing to let go of things.

Despite this, Lara Jean is nothing if not kind to Genevieve. Genevieve is not kind. Genevieve is not happy about Peter’s living situation. Genevieve is still mad about some stupid spin the bottle game from seventh grade that Lara Jean had all but forgotten about because it happened _when they were children._

It’s ridiculous.

It’s also gotten to the point where Gen is even mean to her when she’s in the same space as Peter and Gen. It’s not just snide little things either; it’s stuff about how she looks, or what she’s wearing, or little back-handed things about how she’s a prude or poor or incompetent.

And all because Gen is still mad that Peter kissed Lara Jean when she was in the seventh grade.

Lara Jean has dealt with a lot of shit during her life, and she usually tries her hardest to treat people with respect, but this is too much. It’s not fair that she has to deal with this harassment in her own fucking home.

She tells Peter as much.

What she doesn’t tell Peter is that she can’t believe he’s dating the actual incarnation of Satan. Genevieve is pretty as sin, but there is absolutely nothing nice about her.

She also can’t believe that someone as wonderful as Peter is dating someone as terrible as Genevieve.

She doesn’t tell him that, either.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Genevieve doesn’t come to their apartment anymore after that.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Peter is out. All the time. Probably with Genevieve. Which is _fine_.

Lara Jean doesn’t care, so she doesn’t ask.

When Peter is around, life is normal. He tries to make Ramen. They watch movies together on Thursday nights and create their own commentary during the film. Peter plays his dumb music extra loud, and Lara Jean plays her music extra loud right back.

They talk nonsense, and Lara Jean swears that Peter’s being even more flirtatious than ever.

Neither of them bring up Genevieve.

 

 

* * *

  

 

Christmas comes faster than Lara Jean could have hoped. Due to a work schedule from hell, she’s unable to spend the holiday with her family (for the first time ever). She is rather torn up over it – Christmas has always been a special time for Lara Jean and her family (and their many traditions); this unwanted separation leaves her feeling rather humbug. Peter, ever the sweetheart, takes it upon himself to make sure Lara Jean has the most wonderful holiday.

She’s a little skeptical (and also not sure how he’s going to make time for her between his own busy schedule, general Christmas preparation, and Genevieve).

But he does it.

They get a tree from the tree farm – Lara Jean saws it down all by herself (out of spite – that’s what Peter gets for saying she couldn’t do it). They decorate the tree while watching old Christmas movies. Peter asks her about stuff that she usually does on Christmas. They both decide the recital party is a bit much, but he’s totally down to partake in the Christmas Cookie Bonanza; they end up making these weird fruitcake cookies that Peter sees in a _Bon Appetite_ magazine and is very adamant about making for some reason.

Which says a lot, considering he can barely make Ramen.

They turn out alright, though – and even if they are mediocre at best, Lara Jean had a blast messing around in the kitchen with Peter over the weekend, so she can’t complain.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

On Christmas Eve, Peter dresses up as Santa Claus and makes Lara Jean laugh so hard she nearly pees her pants. The play drinking games while having a Christmas movie marathon - which includes _Die Hard_ because Peter is convinced that it’s a Christmas movie.

They stay up till maybe two am (or until they fall asleep, heads against shoulders and legs tangled together on the couch).

The next morning, Lara Jean wakes up with a terrible headache and she's draped on top of Peter. She has the manners to be embarrassed, but he’s not awake yet so it’s fine.

She quietly tries to get up and go to the bathroom, except she walks directly into the bathroom door. This makes a loud thud, she yells out in aggravation and pain, and Peter wakes up, only to figure out what she’s done and starts laughing. Lara Jean ignores him and walks into the bathroom before she pees her pants.

She walks back to the living room only to find Peter sitting up trying to turn on the tv. He’s got sleep in the corners of his eyes, and his dark, curly hair is messy and all over the place. There’s a dark spot on his shirt, which she thinks is from her own drooling – which is _gross_ – but he doesn’t seem bothered. He pats the spot next to him and urges her to join him on the couch.

Lara Jean sits down without a moment’s hesitation.

And it’s not because she’s only just noticed that Peter’s not just handsome in passing, but he’s a classic sort of handsome.

A timeless sort of handsome – like he’d be the prettiest man in all of ancient Greece and he’d be the prettiest boy on the front lines of World War One. While Peter Kavinsky will continue to undoubtedly age, the fact that he will always be known as handsome will not.

She’s deep in thought about how pretty her roommate is that she doesn’t even consider the fact that she’s having a serious debate with herself about what it is that makes Peter so timelessly beautiful.

After many minutes of careful deliberation (and very discreet glances that he definitely _does not_ notice), Lara Jean comes to a conclusion: he’s got the soft-jock aesthetic. He’s fit and athletic and is basically looks like the boy every one imagines their favorite protagonist as. He’s the right amount of cocky and self-assured. But he’s got a gentleness about him; he’s got a softness about him – like he genuinely cares about what’s happening around him, like he knows that all his actions have an impact.

They open gifts later that evening, and Lara Jean nearly dies when he gets her a small collection of what Chris (and everyone else, really) would call “Bodice Rippers”, because he knows how much she likes them. Her gift to Peter is kind of lame in comparison – a nice package of stationary that reminded her of him – but he seems thrilled with the prospect.

This gift has nothing to do with her idealization of love letters nor her blooming crush on Peter Kavinsky.

She promises.

 

 

* * *

 

 

After Christmas, things are different.

Peter’s around more. Lara Jean hears from Chris that Genevieve’s just started a new job with more hours, so that means less time to spend with Peter.

Not that Lara Jean’s complaining about that.

But now that he’s spending more time with her, she’s started picking up on little things - like how he looks at her when she’s not really paying attention, or how he keeps restocking those yogurt smoothie drinks she loves so much. He picks up cheap little knick-knacks at places and places them around the flat because they remind him of her (his words, not hers). He sits closer to her on the couch than he used to, and he’s starting to wear his shirt less and less around the apartment.

Which isn’t a bad thing, but it’s chilly outside (January is notorious for being damp and cold) and she doesn’t want him getting sick.

He’s so thoughtful, and it really warms her heart.

She tells Kitty as much over the phone; Kitty calls her dense, then hangs up with an exasperated sigh.

Lara Jean is left confused, but doesn’t dwell on it that much; it’s just Kitty being Kitty.

 

 

* * *

 

 

January comes to a close, and Lara Jean wakes up at four in the morning on the first of February in a panic, because _holy shit_ she just had a fucking _sex dream_ about _Peter Kavinsky_ aka her _roommate_ aka her _very good friend_ who might still be dating Genevieve.

She really should have seen this coming. It’s like the plot of at least three of her favorite books.

She takes a few deep breaths before she gets out of bed and walks to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. While waiting for the water to fill the glass, she debates sending a text to Chris about her current predicament but decides against it.

Chris never has the advice Lara Jean wants to hear when it comes to these sorts of things.

Lara Jean texts her anyway.

(As soon as Chris gets Lara Jean’s text, she calls – Lara Jean answers, obviously, only to hear a chorus of laughter. In some other world, maybe this situation is funny, but Lara Jean fails to find any humor in her current state.

Chris gives advice that Lara Jean is not going to act on – mostly because she knows she’d die of shame if she jumped Peter’s bones.

Plus, she doesn’t want Genevieve to murder her.)

Lara Jean decides pining for Peter can’t be that terrible. She’ll get over this little infatuation in no time.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Lara Jean decides that she hates pining, and she very nearly hates Peter for being so fucking perfect and sweet and handsome all the fucking time.

She _loathes_ the way his nose scrunches up, the way he says ‘woah’ when he’s confused, and how he’s taken up walking around the flat in just a towel after he gets out of the shower.

Everything Peter does – she notices, and she _hates_ it.

She can’t get him out of her head.

Somehow, everything comes back to Peter – she’ll see stuff in stores and smile because _oh, Peter would love those_ and she can’t be thinking like that.

Like he’s her boyfriend.

He’s her roommate, and she’s pretty sure there are Devine Laws about being romantically involved with your roommate.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The thing about Valentine’s Day is that Lara Jean _loves_ it. Lara Jean is basically the definition of hopeless romantic, and while she’s never had anyone to spend the holiday with (she’s had a few significant others in the past, but none of them ever lasted till Valentine’s Day), she goes all out every year.

So _yeah_ , she’s putting up little red heart lights on the mantle, and _yeah_ she’s hanging tiny heart ornaments all around the apartment.

She puts on Frank Sinatra – there’s something about the nature of all his love songs that just rip straight through her heartstrings (also _Fly Me to the Moon_ is quite possibly the most lovely song ever, so there’s that).

Peter had work today, so he’s not going to be home till later – she knows he’s going to tease her about her excessive celebration of the dumb holiday – but she doesn’t care. She brews herself a tea, and while it cools, she heads to her bedroom.

She puts on her cute-too-big knit sweater with a little heart in the center (because it’s too cold for her cheesy tee-shirt and her coziest leggings. She’s got cute fuzzy socks that are ridiculously festive that she slips on her feet, then heads back to the kitchen.

Lara Jean grabs her mug of now cooled tea then heads to the couch. She puts her tea on the coffee table, then heads over to the television to slip _Sixteen Candles_ into the DVD player.

And that’s just the beginning of her rom-com scheduled evening.

She smiles, content with how the night is going to go.

It’s Valentine’s Day, she’s got her favorite rom-coms, and there’s nothing her stupid crush on her stupid roommate can do to ruin it.

She’s watching _The Princess Diaries_ when she hears Peter at the door. He places his keys on the counter with a clink, and he audibly sighs as he fishes around for something in the fridge. Lara Jean waits patiently for him to roast her over the excessive decorations that litter the apartment.

(What she means to say is that she can’t wait for Peter to shower her with attention.)

And he does just that – letting out a confused laugh.

“Covey, what the _fuck_ is _this_?”

“I’m celebrating love today,” She states like its the most obvious thing in the world.

“Uh, why?”  He asks as he plops himself next to her on the couch. He even has the audacity to place his head upon her shoulder, the _absolute bastard_.

“It’s Valentine’s day, dumbass,” she rolls her eyes, “You must have done something nice for Gen then? Tell me all about it.”

He coughs, “You know I haven’t seen Gen since, like, _before Christmas_ , right?”

“No, yeah. Yeah, _yeah_. I knew that. Just, uh, joking around with you,” She adds an awkward chuckle to make her fib more believable. She’s very sure Peter knows she’s full of shit, but he doesn’t say anything.

Maybe Kitty is right – maybe she is a bit dense.

“So, what’s with the décor?”

“I don’t need to explain how much I love love to you again.”

“Please, spare me the details.”

“Well, the fact of the matter is that I crave romance and I have no one to romance me, so I romance myself.”

“Is that why the same Frank Sinatra song has been playing over and over.”

“The fact that you even asked me that is insulting. You know the answer.”

“So,” he begins, picking his head off her shoulder to sit up and look at her, “You listen to Sinatra, watch these cheesy movies, and decorate the house and yourself every year for this holiday instead of doing what people usually do on Valentine’s Day?”

“I mean, _yeah_ ; but I’m usually alone cause Chris used to go out and live it up with all the sad, single men that frequent the bars,” she admits. He keeps looking at her funny, “What?”

Peter looks down at his lap with a tiny smile and lets out an amused sigh, “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

“It’s not like I’ve had someone to spend the day with before; none of my exes liked me enough to stick around,” she pauses, “okay that’s like depressing as all hell –“

“yeah, it is.”

“Not the point,” she gives him a look before she continues, “I’ve just always liked the holiday, or maybe I’ve always liked the excuse to celebrate the stuff I love to read and write about. It’s stupid and self-indulgent –“

“Nah,” he smiles, “It’s cute.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

He does that stupid cocky look again – if this was in one of her books, she’d be the girl that acts on all the unresolved sexual tension in the room and kisses the stupid smirk thing off his stupid handsome face.

But it’s not a book, and Lara Jean is a coward.

She’s not disagreeing about the unresolved sexual tension though, because there is a lot of it in the air at this moment.

So, she ignores him and goes back to watching the movie. He seems to get the hint – until he rearranges himself so that his body is sprawled across the length of the couch and his head rests in her lap. He’s looking up at her with what she can only assume is a shit-eating grin and a sparkle in his eyes.

She ignores it for maybe five minutes before she can’t bear it any longer. She looks at him – a good, long, hopefully blank look.

“I can’t believe you thought I was still with Gen.”

“It’s not like you ever told me you weren’t seeing her anymore.”

“I didn’t think I needed to!”

“You know how oblivious I am to everything!”

He laughs like that’s the funniest thing in the world. She can feel the laughs that begin deep in his chest in her lap – she can feel them in her heart and she hates it. She hates not knowing why he’s reacting this way.

“It’s not funny!”

It all happens so fast that she isn’t exactly sure of the exact nature of how as much as she knows of the nature of what.

Peter Kavinsky ends up in front of her, one hand on her cheek, the other in her hair, and his lips on her own.

Peter Kavinsky is kissing her on Valentine’s day while _Fly Me to The Moon_ and _The Princess Diaries_ play in the background.

Her eyes are wide in shock – but once it hits her that this isn’t another sex dream – that this is real – she kisses him back, lets her fingers tangle in Peter’s messy hair.

It’s better than her dream. It’s more lovely than anything she’s ever read about. It’s better than any kiss she’s ever had before, than any kiss that Chris has told her about, than any kiss in her favorite rom-coms.

This is real, and good, and quite possibly the most romantic thing that’s ever happened to her, and she can’t help but smile. He stops kissing her for a moment, but she doesn’t mind. His forehead is pressed against hers and she’s never felt more content in her entire life.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Lara Jean,” he whispers.

She almost blurts out _I Love You,_ but she thinks that might ruin the mood.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Peter.”

She kisses him – this time it’s a little less gentle and a little more steamy – but he pulls away abruptly.

“You gotta change this song, Covey.”

“Make me.”

“That’s not how that works, but whatever you say,” he smirks (and so does she) before kissing her once more.

**Author's Note:**

> validate me. also check out my tumblr @bivangogh


End file.
